That was so much exactly what I was feeling especially in the middle of the night when I was watching that movie on 12/19/11 at 2:45am. It just struck me as a good insight and expression at the time.Sometimes it makes me sad, (Andy) being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still...the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they are gone.....I guess I just miss my friend.
So, other than that, I was back at work today after a week off at the holidays. It was nice to be off. Work almost reminds me of you even more since so much of our time communicating was during the work day. I can't park, or walk to the stairs in the garage without remembering having you with me and especially the day you put such a big smile on my face that the guys at the elevator said something to me about it. I really miss that joy and excitement. I wonder if you do at all. Well, I know that time will wear on and things will get better, but for some reason I still feel right now that you are such a valuable person to me and I still don't want to give up and I don't want to lose you again. It is horrible the situation and the timing that this occured during, but I swear that I want to be ready in case the timing is ever right in the future. I love your heart with my heart and I love your soul with my soul. I felt it so deep in my bones. I wrote down once that you said that you loved me with all your existence. That is exactly how I would describe my feelings and love at the time and now, too. The craziness has faded a little, but the feelings are there forever, I think. I hope and pray for the "someday" to come where I can talk and be with you for eternity.
Bye for now my love!
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