Well, I am a little down. Overall I have hope and know that God is watching over me and will take care of me (if I'm not too stubborn?), but I am just having a little anxiety and sadness. I wish so bad that I could talk to you. I am awaiting a job offer from Chicago, but also have just had a recruiter ask me if I am interested in a position in the D.C. area. I wish so bad that we could still be friends and that I could talk to you about these things that mean a lot to me. I also would like to know if there is a snowball's chance in hell for me to ever have a chance with my soul mate. I almost said that in the we/us/our tense, but realize that you might not feel that way anymore. I have such a longing in my heart and soul...why won't it go away? Anyway, I am being much healthier now, and I am super, super sorry that I whined a little and was so stressed we you talked to me. I hope you know in your heart that I could be so much more than what you saw. I do feel a little weird for being like this, but - WTF? I'm just going to be my dang self and everyone can just deal with it!
I feel that I should start praying really hard and really fast that you will talk to me or contact me somehow. I just don't know if I should try to push the issue or initiate it...I don't want you to hate me any more than you may already.
And, although I am jealous in some way of wwe for having you, I realized that you made me not as much of a jealous person, and that I thought I was more jealous of a person than I am. I realized that when I felt loved by you, I was just really happy and confident, and not jealous at all. I was happy for pretty, cute, young girls. I must admit a little envy of them, but in a way it is just motivating. I wanna tell you how great you were and are and how special you made me feel - how many things you brought me to realize about myself.
Okay...gotta go!
Love and hugs and kisses and rubs for any of your boo-boos! And may our God and the angels be watching over you and bless you!
Me
PS I feel a little better after writing this!
No comments:
Post a Comment