Happy New Year to you LM

Well, it is already 2012 where you are my friend . I wonder how you rang it in and if you even think about me any more at all. Yesterday was really bad when I made the mistake of checking my sound profile on my phone and checked to see what the instant message/bbm volume/ringtone was set to.  It was so awful to hear the sound when I hit "Try It" and heard that sound that used to make my heart skip a beat and a smile immediately come to my face.  That was the weirdest thing hearing it since I had not heard that unique sound since that dreadful morning of November 3rd when my whole world caved in. I just cried and cried and cried. I don't think I will do that to myself again. I guess it was kind of like pavlov's dogs haha! But wouldn't it be terrible for those dogs to have heard the sound and know that the food was gone and probably never coming back?  What a miserable feeling indeed!
Hopefully I will live and learn. I hope you had a great New Year's Eve even though I hope you were not lonely and sure you were not with the great family you have. 
I am surrounded by very loving family and friends this evening, but still have such an emptiness that can only be filled with you right now.  I guess that sounds pathetic and would be possibly annoying to you at this point, but isn't that why it is great that I can't actually tell you. I can tell you I sang my heart out for you on some karaoke songs tonight. And also I was really singing for you a couple of nights ago...some Celine Dion song...It was actually fun and a release to just belt it out over and over with such emotion because I was all by myself at the house.  The thoughts of you are very bittersweet at times...bringing smiles, tears, hopes, fears, unanswered questions always. And the undying hunger for you to touch me, to talk to me, to look into my eyes and to hold me.  And of course there is more that isn't fit to say for the moment.
Well, gotta go sing some more and eat dessert. It's almost midnight here now, too. I miss you and wonder sometimes if you are looking at the same moon and stars. They were really pretty a couple of nights earlier this week. I pray you will have a really good year.
So long!