Why So Strong?

Why are these feelings so strong? Why can't they go away?

OK. Here is a weird thought. I have wanted to go to the Daughtry concert at PNC park after the pirates game for months, since when I first heard/read about it. Now I don't know if I can get tickets or not, or if I feel like spending the money on a hotel or not. I wish I had gotten my money already, but it won't be until Wednesday.  Something tells me I should go, but I would feel weird going alone so I probably won't. I wish my friend would go with me, but it's kind of last minute notice and she would have to meet me there. I also have another offer to go to Orlando and disneyworld. I might do that.

I swear I will see you one day, though. It has to be.

I will tell you what the first "hit me" moment of today was, or at least what the strongest moment that stands out it my mind was...I was sorting my e-mails by sender so that I could find a document sent to me by an HR or payroll girl who sent me something else. So I clicked on today's e-mail from her name which was Yasmin Lopez with last name first, so Lopez, Yasmin. Then I searched by sender to get the other one I knew she sent me recently to come up easily. I got it and worked with the document. Then next time I looked up at my screen, guess who's name/e-mail I saw several times in a row! You know who from the very first interchange. It cuts like a knife. It brings back memories of that time I played the BBM sound in the car and just about died it hurt so bad. The BBM noise was actually worse - not sure if it was because it was more close to the time or what...

Anyway, that was my John Madden dagger of the day. That's just a strange line that came to mind.

Oh well, I have "met" some interesting people online. Mostly just follow them and they are hilarious. I have also signed up online but am probably about to take it down.

You are the only one I want, but I'm not going to let that hold me back from experiencing life to the fullest.

Well, I love you forever and I sure hope that you are not going to be at that ball game. I had originally planned to buy 3 tickets and send two to you hoping you would bring one of the boys with you and have a big surprise. I know stupid crazy thoughts I have.

Gotta go, it's really late to still be at the office.

Love across the universe to my soul mate. Oh! That reminds me. I was reading one guys profile today (this can be dagger # 2, but it was much gentler). Anyway he said something about meeting someone you could share your soul with and it just hit me with such gravity and of course immediately brought you to mind. I got goosebumps when I thought and imagined all of the things that implied.

OK. Now bye for real. Do I really have to keep living without you?
Me